Person 1: Why do eskimos wash their clothes in tide? Person 2: It works very well.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do call a limbless man swimming? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Dom stop smoking He didnt I lied

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock. Who's there? Shut up.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Poem Of Love: Each time i see you i feel like i need you and i love you.. i hope you became my girl and live with me cause without you i can't live.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do a blond and a jar of marmalade have in common? Nothing, they are completely different.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why does Jeremy Kyle love his job? Because he gets to make idiots look like bigger idiots.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Wanna hear a joke? Joe Jonas.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your momma is so white, when she goes out in the sun it is necessary for her to use a lotion with an SPF greater than 30 because she burns easily and is also afraid of skin cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a cow climbing a tree? Amazing. How many cows have you seen climbing trees?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What do you do when your friend tells you he murdered someone? A: Call the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's small and red that sits in a corner? A baby with a razor blade.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do fish and dogs have in common they are both animals

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the Batman say to the Joker? "I am the Batman."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There was a big guy he was called Mac. So Mc Donalds turned him into a burger

thumb_up thumb_down -10

NASCAR

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the officer say to the black man? You're under arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why does one not simply walk into Mordor? Mordor doesn't really exist and thus is physically impossible to walk into, or enter by any means really.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock trick or treats? here is the candies, have fun kids!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Where do you live? In a house

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops