What do you call the twin towers? An airport

thumb_up thumb_down +18

The nurse at a hospital came out of the delivery room and chucked the baby down the hall to the father. The dad starts crying and the nurse starts laughing and said, "It's ok, it was already dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's up brah brah

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This doesnt rhyme, Microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why couldn't the blonde screw in the light bulb?? - she happened to be autistic

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's spotted and has dildos strapped to their neck? Jews

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Mary fall off the swing. She had no arms Knock knock Whis there Not Mary.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is brown and sticky. Hot chocolate.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

More mindfuck "government hypnosis edition": What can doctors possibly do in order for you to wait enough for them to come to help you? They call you "their PATIENT!" Moral: So be patient and wait, oh thee brainwashed.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats white and sticky? Rotten milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a dirty black person? Unhygienic

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Wanna hear a joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Kid: mom what happens when grandpa farts? Mom: well son... Everyone leaves the room

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Farmers are outstanding in their fields

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's green and has four wheels? A dolphin. I lied about it having four wheels. I lied about it being green. I lied about the whole thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a Justin Beiber concert and a hedgehog? With a hedgehog, the pricks are on the outside, but in a Justin Beiber concert, the pricks are on the inside.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse than being a ginger? Being a soulless ginger

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats Black and White and Red all over? A white boy who just got jumped, with sever bruises left lying in a pool of his own blood.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Jimmy Saville

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a dead moose, In my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops