why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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Melbourne Football Club.

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A panda walks into a bar... Psht. Panda in a bar, that's impossible.

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell off a cliff? That never happened. I just checked Wikipedia.

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What's bue and sticky? -A blue stick.

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A woman walked into the doctors office with a black eye. The doctor asked: How did you get that? The woman said: I fell.

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You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Q:what has four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A:a pool table

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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A guy walks into a restaurant.... He ordered his meal , got desert and left a nice tip based off a percentage of his final bill.

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What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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What do Elephants and Grapes have in common? They are both purple, except the Elephant.

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Where did the homeless man sleep? A rather nice hotel with fluffy pilloes

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat

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Why dont jews eat pork? Because the torah doesnt allow cannibalism

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it could without dying.

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how do you keep a blonde busy for 7 to 8 hours. you give her m&m's and tell her to spell a word.

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two people are falling out of a plane, a blond and a brunnete who hit the ground first. the blond, the brunnete brought a parachute

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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What is black white and red all over A tree in black, white, and red paint.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor's office? He had brain cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops