What do you get when you read a book? More knowledge in your brain.

When Kylie and Conner have a baby he will have a centimeter Schmeter!

Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

Why do birds fly south in winter? Because its too far to go walking.

A grandmother in her late seventies is walking to the grocery store. Then out of nowhere,she stats getting pelted by bananas. One hits her hard on the head,and she dies.

your dad's gay. just let that sink in.

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

What did the African do when he found out he was constipated? He ate a laxative and went to the toilet

What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

A straight guy, a straight girl and a bisexual guy walk into a bar. The bisexual guy is twice as likely to find a partner from a purely statistical point of view.

Why did the man cross the road? To attend his wife's funeral.

Kenneth kaniff takes his hat off then he meets cosmic panda with kevin the zebra because chuck norris ate a chili pepper.

What's the worste part about alzheimer's disease? You forgot you have AIDS.

Whats worse than malaria? Dying from it.

Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

Two guys are walking down the street. One asks the other "Nice weather today, huh?" And the other responds "It sure is," and they both continue on with their days.

How do you kill a blonde? By inactivating major functions in the body, for example cutting off the blood supply to the brain.

How do u get a clown off of a swing? You hit him with an axe.

Why didn't Timmy have a girlfriend ??? Because he's a Fruit bowl !

You Know Wats Funny? Jokes....

If Jimmy has 60 candy bars and eats 50 of them, what does he have? Diabetes.

A very unattractive girl bent over in front of me. I proceeded to be sick, and then I choked on my sick. I died. My family mourn my death every day.

Why is an orange, orange. Because you can't clean a window with a spade.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...