What do you call 100 black people at the bottom of the ocean? An unfortunate tragedy and astonishingly ironic curcumstance.

Whats the difference between ice cream and dead babies? I'm not eating ice cream right now.

I was walking through the woods the other day when I heard a rustle in the bushes... So I went over and said, "Russell, What are you doing in the bushes?"

water, hydrated silica, glycerin, sorbitol, PVM/MA copolymer, sodium lauryl sulfate, flavor, cellulose gum, sodium hydroxide, propylene glycol, carrageenan, sodium saccharin, titanium dioxide all adds up to colgate. SO AS A MATTER OF FACT, CHEESE PLUS PIE IS CHICKEN. CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT I LIKE SAYING CHEESE, JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL BECAUSE THEY WERE BAGELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How are people and jelly beans similar? No one likes the black ones

Why did Timmy fall off the swings? -Because he had no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Timmy

A man made a sandwich.

Two cats were in a bathtub. They both, however, were uneasy the whole time, as it is common sense to know that cats do not like being in water.

Trees are like friends. They both fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

Why did the blond put a condom on her hear? So, she would not get hearing ads.

Snow White found a magic lamp in the middle of the forest. She rubbed it and became pregnant because the spout was a penis.

A man walks into a bar. He then meets some friends and has a rather enjoyable night.

Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Hi.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocost

Little girl and a pedofile walk into the woods at night. Little girl says, "mr pedofile im scared" pedofile responds " you think your scared? i have to walk out of here alone."

why did the turtle beat the rabbit ? because the rabbit eventually got shot

What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

Do you know what is dead on the carpet ? Your mother

A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

Do you know what a third world bathroom smells like? Crap

How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

why are black people so good at basketball? because they understand the fundamentals, work hard at becoming better, and have fun playing the game/

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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