What happened when the black man was pushed off the cliff? His bones shattered upon impact and he died almost instantly

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Patriarchy.

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A black and a mexican jump off a building, What a tragedy...

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my name is Jacob sartorious

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

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lol a man is drowning

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How do you stop a Polish army on horseback? With artillery.

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what do you get if you eat cream cake, coffee cake, strawberry cake, chocolate cake, fruit cake, and sponge cake? a very large stomach-cake.

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins the china town

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If life gives you lemons ask where they came from.

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So a catholic priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a beer.

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A large man goes into a restaurant and places his order The waiter asks if he would like the weight watchers menu He says no because he doesnt care about his weight

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whats black and white and slides on its belly a penguin

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whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

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This one time at band camp... I played an instrument and learned to march with the rest of my school's band.

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What do you call a blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba? A blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba!

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Q: What is your favorite color? M: Blue

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What do you call a cow climbing a tree? Amazing. How many cows have you seen climbing trees?

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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What do the poor have that the rich need? Nothing.

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What do you call it when you lend money to a bison? Unitelligent, because bison do not have the ability to purchase things with money so it will most likely just eat the money.

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What did the chemist say when his BBQ ran out of charcoal? Nothing interesting.

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What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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