*knock knock* "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

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What do men and women have in common? They're both respected members of society, besides women.

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What do Texans call cows? Cows. Calling them almost anything else would be utterly illogical.

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What did Santa Clause say to Rudolf? Nothing. Santa's not real.

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A black man walks into a bar and is proptly told to leave. He proceeds to sue the bar owner, then buys the bar and turns it into a community center that helps at risk children.

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What's the anonymous name for vampire hunters? The KKK.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo Boo hoo? Boo hoo your parents are dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, some dude ran it over.

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What do you call a ostrich with no legs? Damn, that's funny.

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What's worse than aids? Super aids.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? Escape.

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Once upon a time, I was a Muslim.

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Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

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how much is a microwave full of dead babies? a fridge full of dead puppies.

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Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

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What did the person with down syndrome do? He mumbled for a while, chewed on his thumb, fell flat on his face, and died.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

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Your mother was a hamster, And your father smelt of ElderBerries!

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well he usually takes the bus to his job but he missed it so he had to walk. Unrelated to this, he works at KFC

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What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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