In Soviet Russia, the political system was very different than it is today.

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american government

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, I am color blind.

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I was reading this book one time..... and my imagination took me away to many lands and times.

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What did the monkey say to dog Foreskin

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What do you do when jews take over your country? Invade Poland.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

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Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son was captured by a sexual predator, and your daughter tried to run from them, and now she's under the wheels of the bus going round and round.

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so dont touch it.

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A chronic hemophiliac walks into a bar. He cuts his leg and bleeds to death.

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What did the chicken say when it crossed the road? Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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Q. What do you get when a banana and a person mate? A. The banana suffocates

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What happened when the Neo-Nazi ran into a group of black people? He listened to their struggles, heard their stories, accepted their diversity and eventually hung up his hateful ways.

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? He was Happy

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Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

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Got no dick? Then you're probably a girl.

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Give me thumbs up!

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Wy was the lamp crying, because his mother turned into mashed potatoes.

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Jersey Shore

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Once you buy it, you will get a 365 day warranty or a 1 year warranty, whichever comes first

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guess what my nephew said today? oh ya i forgot, hes dead..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops