What did the table say to the human? Nothing, tables don't talk.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What do you call a middle-aged man at a preschool? A teacher.

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Doctor, I am afraid of getting sexually abused. Hmm, sounds serious, take off all your clothes so we can get a proper look.

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Dr Dr I think I have diarrhea You have irritable bowel syndrome, I recommend IBS support

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why are tree's green cause that's how god made it

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what did the church group do at their picnic? drink the kool aid

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A racist guy walks into a bar. Gets drunk, and cracks jokes. Then proceeds to get the shit kicked out of him.

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A Jew walks into a shower. Gased.

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizz

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Chuck Noris

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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Seriously tho, too much sex? I need to know dog.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of it's feet are both yellow.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names

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One time Chuck Norris cried. He felt slightly better after the experience, but, unfortunately, his grandmother still died of cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to see its chicks that got run over by a car.

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Guy 1: I had a Energy Drink the other day, I crashed. Guy 2: Really? That must of sucked. Guy 1: Yeah, the family in the other car died.

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Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

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If a girl sleeps with 20 guys, she's a slut. If a guy does the same... He's Gay.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was being dragged by a truck

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what's bad about pushing your friend off a cliff? you can't do it twice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops