Why did the fisherman die on a fishing trip? He had a heart attack.

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What causes floods? Too much water.

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knock knock who's there aids

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They were baked until the baker them until they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Whats bloody and wrinkly? Your nans fanny

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what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

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When is a door not a door? Never. a door is always a door. it cannot be anything else.

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Went to a zoo there was a asian shouting GOOZILLA at the reptile house I said no 2 frickly pickles please He said helwo I'm wo pong th pow wice to weet you I said does he come with subtitles Old priest said no the said hello little boy want a mint I said oh thanks I'm not a boy I'm 19 Old priest said no no you can't have one of my special mints I said wait those mints have R's on them are the rainbow mints Old priest no there raspberry I said ok don't be a stranger Old priest said oh I will I said wait your THE PRIEST He said oh I'm just a priest looking for little boys I said no your dead now jumped 30 feet in the air sat on a bird dove into him bird went threw him we made a team promised to clean the world of evil only to find out that we killed the mother of all priest Bird said tweak tweak I said yeah let's hunt them all down Shall the be a part 2 you decide

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So a Moose walks into this store, and walks up to the lady bitch, and he goes "Hey, lady bitch, where the potatoes?" So the lady bitch goes "Heheh, their in aisle 5." So the moose goes down aisle 5, and there aint no potatoes.

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I just flew here from Cleveland, and boy are my arms tired! The people on either side of me were hogging the armrests, so I had to kind of tuck my arms up behind my head and it was very uncomfortable.

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shauns beautiful

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you know what ice cream's made out of, right? milk.

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roses are red, violets are blue i couldnt spend one night without you

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is a rapist.

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Q: What happened to the 16 year old pregnant black woman? A: She gave birth to a baby in 9 months.

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What's worse than shoveling dead babies??? Using a pitchfork...

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why did the chicken cross the street i dont know thats why im asking you

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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What's funnier than 68? Will ferrel

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I never asked for this.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Wheres my tractor?

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You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

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what is the difference between a park bench and a black guy? the park bench is an inanamite object and doesn't have feelings

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These Jokes suck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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