Three blondes are stranded on an island. They all die from starvation.

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A man rode into town on Friday and stayed a while and then left on Friday how did he manage this?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This doesnt rhyme, Microwave.

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Why was the horse sad? Because it seen a Tesco van in the distance.

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What is black and white and red all over? Two Nuns in a chainsaw fight.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dream of a day when chickens won't be questioned about their actions

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bicycle? She doesn't have a bicycle. She also doesn't have legs.

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Why did the man not open his door to the trick or treaters? He was a sex offender and it was illegal for him to open it...

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What do you call a white man flying a plane? A pilot. What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? Also a pilot.

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What number comes after 29? 30.

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What do you call a black man driving a bus? By his name

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What did the bear say to the mouse? Roar.

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whats better then 10 babies nailed to 1 tree... 1 baby nailed to 10 trees!

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Why was the old man on the floor? He fell

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

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Dude 1: Hey, ya see these coins here? Dude 2: ya, what about em'? Dude 1: would you say you see these pretty often? Dude 2: yup... :/ Dude 1: so would you call them COMMON CENTS!?!?!?!?!

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The nurse at a hospital came out of the delivery room and chucked the baby down the hall to the father. The dad starts crying and the nurse starts laughing and said, "It's ok, it was already dead."

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what do you say to a girl dog crying??? shut up bitch...

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications in the background while you're trying to play a game of Jetman so it starts lagging.

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What did the Penis say to the Condom? Nothing. The human organ is not able to talk to another inanimate object, therefore it's impossible.

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Why did the woman start crying? She didn't have woman's rights... That's right, get back in the kitchen

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Why did the asian man crash into the stop sign? Because there was a frog stapled to his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops