How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

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WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

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soccor

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What do you call a women in the kitchen? A caterer

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Nicolas Cage

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A black man walks up to the cashier with twenty buckets of KFC and seventeen gallons of grape Kool - Aid. The cashier says, "Do you want a bag for those?"

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why is 6 afraid of 7? because 6 is a capitalist and 7 is a communist

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The women if the wnba are good at basketball

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How do you kill half of Mexico? You use nuclear weapons in major cities.

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I tried to call my friend in Haiti. It went straight to vibrate.....

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Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

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Hey I just met you, and this is Crazy, but I think I Love You, so have my baby! ;)

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When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

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A large man goes into a restaurant and places his order The waiter asks if he would like the weight watchers menu He says no because he doesnt care about his weight

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who likes fried chicken? almost everyone because fried chicken is delicious

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This one time at band camp... I played an instrument and learned to march with the rest of my school's band.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a lake? Bob.

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How old is george washington? anyway thats not the point your pregnant

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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wanna no wats not funny........ aids

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A black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving Their designated driver who they carefully selected as someone they thought had enough self-control to not drink and could get both of them home safely

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? names.

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What is yellow and fluffy? Green fluff, I lied about the yellow part.

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Why did the guy fly? Because he steped on a landmine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops