2 women were sitting quietly

Whats worse than losing your car keys? Watching your 4 year old son get visciously raped by a 20stone sex hungry pedophile and knowing you cant do anything about it because the sex hungry pedophile is your dad and he is the alpha male of the family so he has full mating rights.

Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

What did the child rapist say to the little boy? I'm going to rape you.

What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

i like your face... HAHAHAHAH just kidding you make me want to projectile vomit.

What is worse than reading an anti-joke relatively similar to the other? Walking in your front yard and realizing a zombie is eating your dead grandmother.

Why did the dog stop barking. It was given a good reason to.

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

A man sat on a chair

A woman walked into a bar. She dragged her drunk husband off his stool and left.

What did the orphan get for Christmas. A key chain.

Your momas so fat her doctor put her on a diet plan.

An asian is driving a car. He observes the speed limit and uses his turning signals while switching lanes.

What is green and had wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.....

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name is Paco, And yours is too.

Why couldn't Ray Charles read? He was blind.

there once was a guy named james who like to play video games he was told one day that he was gay and he immediatley consulted a priest for reconciliation

Q. Why did the woman fall out of the tree? A. Cause she got laid

Why can't black people swim? Cause poop don't float!

I got a dig bick. You that read wrong, You read that wrong too.

The women if the wnba are good at basketball

Nicolas Cage

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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