What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when the elephants were coming? Here come the elephants! What did Jane say when the elephants were coming? Here come the plums! (She was color blind.)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why are children like books? They are highly flammable if covered in gasoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the orphan wish for Christmas during world war II? Parents What did he get? Bombed.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

if quizzes are quizzical, arent tests testical?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There was this women at a banana festival, but she didn't like bananas. So she split

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What's long and gray and kills people? A: A gas pipe.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

shauns beautiful

thumb_up thumb_down -1

WHat is worse then Fred singing and cumy condom

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When life gives you lemons, You find a new life

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks up to a horse and asks, "why the long face?" The horse stares back at him, blankly. The man then sits and ponders his life, sad that he now tries to communicate with horses and realizes that his eccentricity is probably the reason his marriage failed.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a man looking at Anti jokes on this ? you

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the asain have for dinner? A: rice

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I went to church.. i didn't get raped. I went to school... I didn't get raped. I went into a back alley... I didn't get raped. I went home... I didn't get raped. Today was better than yesterday...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket in disguise

thumb_up thumb_down -1

One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock? Who's there? A Jehovah's Witness. Oh. Knock knock? Who's there? Not me!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Tell her something that doesn't make any sense at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

This is my first joke don't ????mine. You did didn't you.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A Priest, A Pedofile, and a Rapist walk into a bar. He Orders A Drink

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops