- Anti Joke

how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz 7 8 9

Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

What do you call a man with a black book? I don't know.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I peek in your window, Yes, I'm watching you

Why couldnt the woman wear her new necklace? She was decapitated

Why did I get raped

Why did the squirrel cross the... Squash

Who is the girl that has had sex with over 10 guys? Georgia Hidi

What happened when a Blonde girl and a Ginger man have sex without a condom? The woman gets pregnant and then after about nine months the woman gives birth and the child grows up, when the child is adolescent it is able to reproduce and the process continues again.

the doctor says to the patient " i have some good news and some bad news" the patient says well what is it dock " well the good news is your fine " the patient asked what the bad news was and the doctor said " i lied about you being fine you have aids, and testicular cancer and you have 2 days to live"

So one day There's a normal average day cheerio walking down the street, just walking along, when all-of-a-sudden he sees the most gorgous frosted cheerio in the world. This frosted cheerio has the most out smooth curves and just sparkles all the time and he immiediately falls in love with this frosted cheerio. So he walks up to the Frosted cheerio and says "Oh my goodness, you are the most beautifal frosted cheerio i have ever seen in my entire life, your just so stunning! Do you wanna marry me?" "Oh thats so sweet of you" said the Frosted Cheerio "but we could never be together because im a gorgous frosted cheerio and your just a normal cheerio". Determined, the Cheerio decides to clean up his act, goes and quits his job at the newsstand and applies for a job at applebees working his way up through the chain of command until a few months later when he finally is manage and becomes a Honey nut cheerio. He then goes to the Beautifal Frosted Cheerio and says "Look at me now! Im a Honey Nut cheerio and we can be together!" "Oh i do appreciate the effort" says the frosted cheerio "But im a frosted cheerio and your just a honey nut cheerio and i dont think it would work out". Even more determined, the honey nut cheerio decides to quit his job at the applebees and decides to go to college and after 8 years of intensive practice, the Honey nut cheerio finally has his Doctor's degree in Optomology and becomes a Frosted Cheerio. He then runs to the Frosted cheerio and says "Look! Im finally a frosted cheerio we can finally be together!" "Oh, Wow" says the beautifal frosted cheerio "Now we can be together!" The two frosted cheerios go on to have an incredibly happy marraige and are in the process of naming their first born child. The husband cheerio goes to the bookstore and buys a young cheerio name book, but after many hours of searching the book has no good names. So the husband goes all the way across the country to get an even bigger book of baby cheerio names and yet, they still cannot find a good name for the first born. Taking a break from finding the name of their first born child, the couple visits their local carnival and after going on many rides the wife becomes quite thirsty so she asks her husband " Honey, could you fetch me a glass of sprite? so the Husband goes to the Sprite line and he waits and waits but the line is just too long. "Im really sorry dear, but the sprite line was just too long" "Oh its fine honey you can just get me some Coke" Happy to get his wife some beverage the cheerio finds the coke line but yet again finds that the line is just too long. "Honey, Im really sorry but the coke line was just way too long" Dissapointed, but still thirst the wife says " Well i guess i could settle for some fruit punch" So the husband leaves but unfortunatly, There was no punch line.

You know what's really funny? Cancer What's funnier than that? The Holocaust Even funnier? Charlie Sheen

Why did the fat guy sit on another guy? They were in a wrestling match.

Little Stephanie was up all night on Christmas eve excited for her new bike that Santa was going to bring her. After tossing and turning for what seemed like decades, the sunset finally arose and Stephanie ran down the steps to unwrap her new bike with the family. Immediately after she went down the staircase, she found her parents marinated in their own blood, with knife wounds all around their body.

What do Elephants and Grapes have in common? They are both purple, except the Elephant.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

Your mama is so fat she suffered from diabetes and died of heart failure .

an elephant is like a guy but its nose is the di**

how do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? with a blender. how do you get them back out of the bowl? with tortila chips.

Whats worse then world war 3 world war 4

Why did Jesus and his friends get crucified? So they could sing: "Always look at the bright side of life" Moral: Monty Python?

How do you confuse and idiot? Purple.

What did the Batman say to the Joker? "I am the Batman."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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