How did jimmy get hurt?? someone throw a fridge at him..

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Wy was the lamp crying, because his mother turned into mashed potatoes.

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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What do you get when you mix a dog with a pool table? I don't know.

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R.I.P. Steve Jobs

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to see its chicks that got run over by a car.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of it's feet are both yellow.

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Why'd the man walk his dog His pen ran out of ink

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yous are all f u c k i n g dumb like rat kavanagh

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How did the family of Cubans get to Florida? They flew first class from their home in upstate New York.

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What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

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Q: What did Stevie Wonder eat for dinner last night? A: Something consumable

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Pee Pee bleekkka klup look? fupapapapapapapapap

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captcha: all yer base

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Why do you not play poker with a cheetah. 1. Animals can't play card games. 2. Cheetahs are carnivores. Think about it.

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you are black i am black except for your big hairy ass

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If a girl sleeps with 20 guys, she's a slut. If a guy does the same... He's Gay.

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Q: What is worse than The Apocalypse? A: Darkseid, Thanathos, Red Hulk, Onslaught, come on The Apocalypse cant even beat the X-men! Moral: "I AM THE APOCALYPSE, YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE!"

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

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Why did the fat guy sit on another guy? They were in a wrestling match.

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A man is about to rape a girl. Before penetration he carefully and correctly applies a condom as he practices safe sex and is not yet ready to father a child.

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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What's the same about eggnog and a computer? You can search the web. Except that's only true for one of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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