What did the house do when it came alive? It went home

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what did the crippled boy say to the truck driver? "i like cats."

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WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

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A man with a white bed sheet on his body and head grimaced at a black man. He said to the black man, can you help me with my ghost costume? Something in the back is poking me and it hurts.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had come upon them and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

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If a fish eats fish bait, and a dog eats dog bait, what does a master eat? Anything he feels like eating at the given moment provided it is in accordance to his diet and beliefs.

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How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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Why did Mary fail to consume her breakfatst? Because Suzy has a history of bi-polar disorder as well as anorexia.

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3 men walk into a bar. they all take a cab home to keep from having an accident due to their intoxication.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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what do you call a Muslim flying a plane A pilot

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what do you call a retarded kid? jack kamstra

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy A: Blue fuzz

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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Whats worse than a little kid falling. Him getting vigorously raped by his father every night.

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Why did the mushroom get invited to the party? He is a fun-gi!!

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What is the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family

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Kony 2012 - Uganda Be Kidding Me

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roses are scarce, violets are farse, come over here and i'll stick it up ya ar#e.

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What did Anne Frank get for christmas? Nothing Anne Frank is jewish.

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Someone threw a refridgerator at his head.

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Why did the fridge fall off its bike? Because someone threw a little girl at it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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