Two Poles are walking down the street. One says "Look out, I think that's dog shit." The other man thanks him and avoids the excrement.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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SHEA CAPOLUPO HAS A TINY SHLONG. 8- turn your head sideways haha.

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Why did the fisherman die on a fishing trip? He had a heart attack.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I t was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Why Was Mary Short? She Had No Legs.

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Where do black people ride bicycles? In the Pedestrian Zone.

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What's the difference between gays and straights? Sexual orientation

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Why couldn't the black kid buy a bike? He had no money.

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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What makes 10 year olds laugh? Se x Jokes.

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whats 2+2? 4

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Knock Knock Whose there? Boo I don't know anyone by the name of Boo. Go away

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since when?

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wheres binladin? at the bottom of the sea wanking over amy winehouse

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

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What is red,brown and stinks? A deer that's hit by a car

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what do you call a kid without arms and legs? Freak

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Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

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In Soviet Russia, it is the largest country in the world. A lot of the parts are uninhabitable though.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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So a Dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of skotch, the bartender realizes he must be dreaming. At that very moment he realises he is in a lucid dream. Since this is the case he decides to murder his wife who is in bed right next to him as an expiriment. Since its a lucid dream it doesnt matter. Next he goes down to the fridge and pulls out some old pizza. He sits down for about half an hour eating it along with a box of tuis that also magically appeared in his fridge. Then he goes outside steals the neighbours car takes it for a ride to his Sister-In-Laws house who he has always wanted to root. He goes over breaks the window with his hand. The lucid dream feels so real to him because he pains from the glass in his hand and then he goes up stairs finds his sister-in-law sleeping so he hops into bed with her. At the same moment the police arrive because they followed him from his home were they recieved complants they heard him kill his wife. Everything starts to turn into a nightmare, so scared he trys to make himself wake up. However he cannot. This is not a lucid dream. This is reality. Pizza was in his fridge because he had it for dinner the night before, Beer did not magically appear. his wife had bought it when she went gorccery shopping. He killed his wife, then stole his neighbours car and attempted to rape his Sister-in-law. So now he is going to jail. And no lawyer wants to take up the case so this man is doomed. No hope at all of ever being a free man again

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? It was getting tired of the jokes

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If you are riding on a broomstick and it breaks in the middle of the ocean... How many pieces of toast does it take to fill a light house? Purple, because Oranges cannot fly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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