Sure, I like all kinds of Juice. -Apple Jews -Grape Jews -Orange Jews The list goes on,,,

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Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

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Republicans

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So, a guy sees a guy, and asks that guy if he's seen a guy who knew this guy who saw this guy who killed this guy, who knew a guy who is Barack Obama's best friend. Oh wait, Barack Obama doesn't have any friends.

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A tightly dressed woman walks up to a man and asks if he wants a good time they go out for dinner and have a lot in common and agree to meet again in the near future

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How does a printer work? You plug it in.

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Why did the virgin jerk until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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Why did the girl fall of her chair? The chair can only hold so much weight.

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why did the man fall off his bike? He got shot by the navy seals, He was a highly decorated terrorist.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

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Roses are red my name is Dave this poem makes no sense, micorwave

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an ant walks into my aunt.... the ant took a dump

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Why can't Sally ride a bike? Because Sally's a fish.

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Why didn't the little boy believe in Santa Clause? Because' he saw his parents putting presents under the tree, and saw his over weight father eat all the cookies.

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Worst joke ever

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was a cold day

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A baby seal walks into a club. It was a tragedy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answered him in a such a simple and concise way, that the little boy understood.

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What's grey and can't fly? A Parking Lot.

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Whats so funny? Josh nash's face

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A black man named Lawrence was driving a car that wasn't his at 3 a.m. The car belonged to a drunk friend who asked Lawrence to be the designated driver.

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Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Depends. Some are vegetarians or vegans, while most eat a mixture of vegetables and meat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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