how do you get a taco? Buy one!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

a Black Swan walks into a bar......,,,.she then has hallucinations and imagines herself having lesbian sex with Mila Kunis...

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to order a couple drinks, and shortly leaves after drinking them, later ending up in a fatal car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why'd humpty dumpy fall of the wall? Someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A women president

thumb_up thumb_down +25

you: guess what somebody: what? you: you have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it is a largely water-based, delicious fruit that provides refreshment in such a hot country and conveniently flourishes in the said climate.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the black man buy watermlons? Because a new local super market just opened and they were on sale.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a black man holding a pistol? A black man holding a pistol

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do u call two mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

how many horses does it take to piss on a cat 17 beccause rape isnt real in somalia

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Wanna hear a funny joke? I can't think of one at the moment...

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson? I thought you were dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you get when you cross a muslim and a mexican? i don't know, i just thought that this would make an interesting question.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

ask me if im a tree! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Mac: Hi, I'm a Mac! PC: And I'm a PC. Steve Jobs died.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call Americas first black president? A change.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Yo mama is so depressing. That is so sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What do you call a black guy with an air plane? A: A pilot you racist bastard!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops