Whats worse than finding a jew in you bed. Jake skellern

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Your mom is absolutely pefect. This makes me love HIM.

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-Wanna hear a joke? -Not really -Oh

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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What is worse than reading an anti-joke relatively similar to the other? Walking in your front yard and realizing a zombie is eating your dead grandmother.

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why cant monkeys swim? cause they dont have staberlizers.

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In Soviet Russia it is normally colder than america and most people speak russian.

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Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

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What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

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What do a grape and a plane have in common? They both have wings... except for the grape!

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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2 women were sitting quietly

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What did the child rapist say to the little boy? I'm going to rape you.

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Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

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Whats worse than losing your car keys? Watching your 4 year old son get visciously raped by a 20stone sex hungry pedophile and knowing you cant do anything about it because the sex hungry pedophile is your dad and he is the alpha male of the family so he has full mating rights.

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax

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Women's rights

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An asian is driving a car. He observes the speed limit and uses his turning signals while switching lanes.

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What did the orphan get for Christmas. A key chain.

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whats purple and has legs? Nothing, i lied about both

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Your momas so fat her doctor put her on a diet plan.

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A man sat on a chair

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Why did the dog stop barking. It was given a good reason to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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