As Vanilla Ice once said, "If there's a problem ill resolve it."

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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ORGANISM. Yeah, I thought it said "orgasm" too.

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So a mouse walks into a bar....the bartender immediatly kills it because he doesn't want another C rating by the sanitation department.

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Why does the man hate his job? He thinks working sucks?

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Why didn't the disabled kid cross the road? He didn't make it.

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well, I'm dying of AIDS, so....

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you are driving down the highway, if two birds make a bee then how many pies can fly at once? None because I can't read

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A man walks into a bar Ouch!

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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shitted on em put your numbah 2s in the air if ya did it on em

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A Jewish, Italian, and Russian man are stranded on an island. Eventually the Russian man dies from heatstroke, leaving the other two to decide whether or not to feast on his remains. The Italian eventually goes mad and tries to murder the Jewish man who is forced to defend himself and kill his remaining friend. Shortly after, the Jewish man is eventually rescued by a passing German vessel after suffering severe dehydration and malnourishment and hanging on only by his faith in God. As they are leading him to safety, the Jewish man eventually summons the strength to tell his saviors about the horrible things he has done and all he has gone through, not knowing if he'll ever be able to forgive himself. His German rescuers take one awkward look at him, and don't know what to say to help him, leading afterwards to several years of PTSD therapy and rehabilitation.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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What do you call it when a cave man pisses himself running from a t-rex? Historically incorrect.

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What is the best way break up with your significant other without hurting their feelings? It is better to get it over with quickly and decisively. Gunshot to the head should do the trick.

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yo mamas so fat... she's a map on call of duty

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What do you call a hobo that lives a in a box. A hobo

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Maturity is a virtue.

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all muslims get the fuck out of britain you fucks

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Knock Knock! .... Knock Knock! ... There seems to be nobody at home...

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A blonde walks into a bar and orders a drink. The end.

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What do you call someone who kills black people? A hero.

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How do you fit a homosexual man into a small card board box? You cut him into pieces.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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