Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink.

What did the orphan get for Christmas. A key chain.

What did the gay man do last night? Had a curry

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she lost her balance.

A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

a man gets raped. -teagan doherty-

Jon has 50 chocolate candy bars Jon eats 45 of them. What does Jon have? Diabetes...

hi do you like guitars? cool i dont

What did one computer say to the other? 100111010100100111001010010001110101110010100010101011010011010010111000010101100100100100001101010000011111010010011010100110101001010100101010101010100101011010010010101010110010110010100100010101010101010

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

An Irish man walked into a bar. He turned to the bartender and said hello. Then walked to the back booth for his lunch meeting with the heads of his highly profitable company and then went home.

There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

h

Knock Knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who?

Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

Sally went to an R-Kelly concert what happend when she came out? No one because R-Kelly peed on sally and cops came in.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Muffins can't speak therefor it said nothing.

Bill:Ask me to do something. Bob:Go get me a beer Bill:Would you like fries with that?

XD I literally cant stop laughing XD, thats like a manly tussle would go down huh? XDXDXD Cartoon Network? Is that thing still on anywhere? You like watching cartoons? I don't mind if you do.

When does George Harrison take a shit? In the morning

Roses are dead Violets are dead Im a bad gardener

What do millions of men give their girlfriends every Christmas? AIDS.

Q. Why did the woman fall out of the tree? A. Cause she got laid

What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to there son who got an A- in math? How would I know? I can't speak Chinese.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...