How do u get a baby to stop choking? Take ur c*ck out if its mouth!!!

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when im sad im feel horny i rape little children -jimmy saville , last words of the diary

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and there wasn't a sufficient wheelchair ramp at his access.

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Anti-joke.com

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You read the Terms of Service.

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Hey I just met? you and this is crazy I have alzheimers Hey I just met you

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who's best is friend is really good looking? James Cornish

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What happens when someone with ADD tells a joke? I forgot.

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Two corns were decided to get married. In wedding, bridegroom can't find bride, so he asked a popcorn next to him, "Do you know where is the bride?" The popcorn answered, "I just change my hair style."

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

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As little Timmy crossed the finish line his heart raced with excitement he had just won the big race. Later he and his family went home to celebrate they had pizza and chips and soft drinks. Then they played scrabble and watched spiderman 2. After that Timmy went to sleep. When his parents found him that morning they mourned and mourned because their hero little Timmy was still asleep.

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A man walked into a metal bar, they were playing Metallica.

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Want to hear an urban legend? There's a straight feminist.

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Two Poles are walking down the street. One says "Look out, I think that's dog shit." The other man thanks him and avoids the excrement.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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^that joke a piece of shit

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What's the difference between gays and straights? Sexual orientation

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SHEA CAPOLUPO HAS A TINY SHLONG. 8- turn your head sideways haha.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I t was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Why Was Mary Short? She Had No Legs.

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Where do black people ride bicycles? In the Pedestrian Zone.

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Why couldn't the black kid buy a bike? He had no money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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