I made a sandwich Lol jk, my gf made it for me

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- Knock knock - Excuse me, I don't have time, my house is on fire ! - We're the firemen.

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Your mama's so fat.

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Q.What do you call a black man flying a plane? A. A black pilot you racist bastard

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What is the meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything in it? I'm not sure at rhe moment, but it will take aproximately seven and a half million years of thinking for me to find out.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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josh roberts goes to church to take advantage of religiously confused young boys

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What has feet but cannot walk? What has a beak but cannot peck? What has wings but cannot fly? A dead bird.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

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Grab your Taco, you've pulled a dyslexic Mexican

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What did the kid say before he died Nothing he was terminally ill

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yo mama is so fat she is 1 candy bar away from dieing

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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why is john so fat years of over eating

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You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

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why did the homeless man buy a mansion? he didn't. i lied. he would need a job to be able to buy a mansion.

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What did the man with cancer do? Die

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what do you call a tall skiny kid with a very big ego autistic.........colby schluter.

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Harry Styles

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What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Why did the guy with alzheimer's say to his wife? He can't remember.

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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