If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

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A poor woodcutter accidentally dropped his axe into the nearby river when taking a particularly forceful swipe at the tree he was cutting. He felt so dejected he wept. Then, the goddess of the river appeared. "What ails thee, my dear man?" she asked. "My axe -- it fell in the river!" stuttered the weeping woodcutter. "Do not worryI am the goddess of this river, and will find your axe!" said the River Goddess and dived into the river. After waiting eagerly for several minutes, the woodcutter was resigned to the fact that he had imagined the River Goddess.

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Why did Suzue fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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what do you call a man with no penis? what ever his name is

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What did James say when he couldn't find his car? "My name's James".

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s e m e n

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What time is it? Refrigerator

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas Nothing he didnt live that long

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This is an anti joke. Please make it the bestest and most well likeded one on this site.

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The awkward moment when you have cancer.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No-one because that's not feasible.

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kid: can i go to the bathroom? teacher: you have to say the alphabet first. kid: ugh. fine. a.b.c.d.e.f.g.h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.q.r.s.t.u.v.w.x.y.z teacher: what happened to the p? the kid bows his head in shame sits back down as the entire class laughs at him.

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A Mexican, A Caucasian and An African American walk into a bar. Suddenly, a rival of the African American's pulls up in a used Chevrolet and shoots him 6 times with a semi-automatic handgun. The Mexican and Caucasian are distraught and call 911 immediately. The rival is later arrested and found guilty of murder in the first degree by a jury of his peers. Less than 6 months later, the bar is closed due to the negative stigma surrounding the shooting. Urban life is a harrowing and tough experience that most outsiders will never fully understand.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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What did my dad say when i knocked over the christmas tree? nothing, my father is dead

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Why did he have to die so young? It just isn't fair... In all considerations, the bullet didn't ask to become embedded in his skull either.

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Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw food on the other side the the farmer was going to chop his head off.

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What Do You Call Black People Skydiving? A fun time.

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Why did the woman not make her husband a sandwich? Because he died in 9/11

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25

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Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The 8 year old in my trunk

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What is James Miller's real name? James Miller.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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