A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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Get out of the way everybody, a group of elephants are tumbling down the mountain!

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Whoever just posted that suicide shit is stupid, you can get arrested for that shit. I would delete it.

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Why do Southern guys go to family reunions? To connect with their loved ones, meet any new additions and share old family stories.

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Is your plant made out of Osmium, Molybdenum, Silicon and Sulfur? Because it's going through OsMoSiS. That was just a joke, not a pick up line. Unless I was giving a pick-up line to your plant, which I definitely wasn't...

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Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

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Why did the squirrel cross the... *Squash*

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What do you call a black man sitting on his porch in the middle of the night playing a guitar? A Musician.

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Hey Lamar, guess what. No Oh ok haha Otarts was here

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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Why is Keven's name spelled with an E Because his parents are black.

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Why was the school field trip cancelled? The Holocaust.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs? Chris

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Why do black people log onto blackpeoplemeet.com? To meet black people.

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What did Charlie Sheen say to Rebecca Black? If you care about the punchline I hate you.

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? Ouch!

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If Africa had more mosquito nets, millions, MILLIONS of mosquitoes would die for hunger.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have narcolepsy.

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Q: Why isn't Michael Jordan able to jump into space with only 1 leap? A: If that were possible, the supposedly absolute laws of physics would've been irreversibly violated to the full extent that the future of science would be in trouble and the future of some already mentally-unstable people would've been deeply jeopardized to a state that they couldn't naturally recover from.

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How do you fall off a building... JUMP.

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poopoo

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Why did billy fall off the sea-saw Because he got kicked in the throat

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IMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM a beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee immmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmiiiiooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmoooooooooooodfssgihsfdiug

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How do u kill a mocking bird ? Stab it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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