3 men walk into a bar. they all take a cab home to keep from having an accident due to their intoxication.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when the elephants were coming? Here come the elephants! What did Jane say when the elephants were coming? Here come the plums! (She was color blind.)

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because it escaped from the farm.

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What is the difference between a car and dead babies? The car is legally obtainable by law and can run on gasoline, when dead babies are nonliving humans, and the owner of which would most likely be sent to jail.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

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Person 1: Can I write a good anti-joke? Person 2: No. Person 1: Why nut? Person 2: All the gud onez r taken. ;-; tru...

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What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

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What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

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Why did the boy lose his watch? Who cares? It was a shitty-ass watch.

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What are the four season of Canada? Cold, cold, cold and road work.

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What does the orphan say to its parents? nothing, orphans dont have parents

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Q: What do you do when you meet someone new? A: You don`t know and expect me to do so? Get a life!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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if ruddell was gay what would he be? a gay prick

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Waseem is sad because all his jokes are not funny!

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"Is this the Krusty Krab?" "Yes. What would you like to order?"

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why did the nazi eat the jew? He didn't

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why is santa so jolly? hes not hes a fictional character made up by our parents imagination

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A 12-year-old boy comes up to the Polish man and says, "I was looking in your bedroom window last night and I saw you and your wife doing it. Nyah, nyah, nyah!" The Pole answers, "You are a very rude, disrespectful, and inappropriate child. Where are your parents?"

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Obama

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4,000 yaks escaped from the zoo

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A blond walks into McDonalds. She orders and leaves.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply because he was incapable of speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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