What do you call you're mum? Depends who's reading it or just mum

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People could crack eggs but Chuck Norris could crack chickens.

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What is worse than the Haulocost? Running across Africa with KFC

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i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

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Lady Gaga didn't have anything to wear to the playboy party.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because people have encroached on it's natural habitat.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well, there is no way to accurately estimate this number being that 1.woodchucks in fact do not chuck wood and 2. there is no time frame given for said action to take place

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She said no

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A blonde and a brunette are stuck on a desert island, they later died of starvation.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a terrible and painful death on impact.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because her dad through a fridge at her

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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What's worse than kicking your dog? Eating it.

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Shit Happens....or sometimes it doesn't! As the person is taken to the hospital with severe constipation.

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Why did Johnny stop walking halfway to school? A fridge fell on him.

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~Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was dead. ~ ~Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was stapled to the monkey!!!

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1 pack of bacon 2 fat guys. They both die fighting over it.

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What is worst than a worm in your apple, the holocaust and everything else? Finding me in your bed (or your mother screaming "help please, no wait its too good I will endure the pain") Rather than Santa`s presents for X-mas. Your friendly Neighborhood and Future ONE AND ONLY EMPEROR R*pist Moral Man:: X-mas is a great way of putting it, after all it is your kind that X-ed Christ... ...As for your mother/sister/Infant/ screaming... Don`t worry, I will come for you too when I am done, it might take a while to violate someone to death though so be patient, because you might end up as a patient... Hahahaha! If you are really FUCKlNG LUCKY!

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What's the difference between watermelon and baby? I don't eat watermelon.

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What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies? My wife didn't cheat on me in a pile of dead babies.

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What did one Black man say to the other Black man before they ate? I hope you're hungry!

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What is long and hard that a bride gets on her wedding night? An erect penis.

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you know what they say about men with big feet... damn you got some big feet.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To eat it of course

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops