What do democrats and fire have in common? They both do damage

thumb_up thumb_down -14

*knock knock* Who's there? *Gorilla* Gorilla who? *Gorillas don't hoot, owls hoot*

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Dr Dr I think I have diarrhea You have irritable bowel syndrome, I recommend IBS support

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why'd the man go to jail? Because he had a piece of cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you get rid of door knocker? You run at them with a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

this kid named terry was sitting in computer class then he got punched in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the mexican cross the road? His drugs were on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia ...where am I

thumb_up thumb_down -16

There's my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did Bear Grylls say to the dead whale? Mmmm.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

love is a homeless guy searchin' for treasure in the middle of the rain and finding a bag of gold coins and slowly finding out they're all filled with chocolate and even though he's heartbroken he can't complain cuz he was hungry in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between an elephant and a Jew. The elephant has elephant cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If you give a homeless man a fish he eats for the night, if you teach him to fish then he probably won't be able to feed himself anyway, he is too poor to afford a pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock Who's there? A pedofile, get in the van Ok

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Your mama is so fat she suffered from diabetes and died of heart failure .

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I wouldn't touch ellen degeneres with a 10 foot lance. However, i would shake her hand with my hand. Lesson: 10 foot lances are no way to touch ppl.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what did the shark do when he died.....

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why are there so many black men in the NBA? Because they trained hard and practiced regularly to get there..

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If an illegal immigrant fought a child molester, is it Alien vs. Predator?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock Knock Who's there? Not Anne Frank

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A creationist, an evolutionist, and Neanderthal Man walk into a bar. They order two beers and a glass of red wine. The bartender asks: "Will that be all?". The evolutionist says "Yes"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops