Your mom walked into a bar and got kicked out cause there's no dogs allowed.

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The bear woke up after his long hibernation of the winter. "Boy, am I hungry!" The bear wandered around and ate some berries. "These blackberries are too bitter and unripe for my taste, I'll go eat something else." He stumbled upon a honeybee hive and took some honey out and ate it. He was swarmed and stung by many of those bees. "That wasn't my favorite batch of honey, I'm still pretty hungry, let me go find some other food. He came across a cabin in the woods. "There maybe some food in there." To some, this was known as the Northern Vermont Massacre. It was a tragic happening. The 7 membered family, the Hernandez family, all died that day. The bear chase all of the adult and children and the house and brutally ate them.

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Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

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what did th teacher say to the student? be quiet and do our work

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I am on a escalator.

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There are two monkeys sittingn a bathtub. The first one says, "Scratch my back Mack." The second one says, "That's okay Joe I've got a radio of my own." (laugh like you think it is funny)

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Roses are red Violets are blue get down or i will shoot

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What do you get when you read a book? More knowledge in your brain.

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Why wasn't there a rainbow? It didn't rain.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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How do you do you cure cancer? Very carefully.

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have you heard of the new german microwave? it seats about 30

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why was the man gay? Because its not a choice. its a lifestyle.

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ask me if i'm a tree. are you a tree? no

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Why did the mass murderer abandon his killing spree? He found out it was illegal.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He quickly works on treating the injuries he had received from hitting his head against the bar when he had walked into it.

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What did the policeman say to the chav? Dickhead!

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Why was the baby ant confused? Because his uncles were ants

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex afender

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two elderly men were sitting in the sun discussing their lives. The first man says "my life was horrible as I had to walk to work uphill in the snow with no boots on a daily basis" The second man looks at the first and replies "you know why my life was horrible?.. I was born a jewish man in Germany during the second world war and was injustly judged and harrassed nearly to death on a daily basis"

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An airplane crashes into a state park. There are no survivors. Susan continues her stroll in the park, considering she is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair, she isn't aware of the nearby disturbance

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What is the difference between a girl and a boy? Well, a girl has two x-chromosones but a boy has and X and a Y chromosone.

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A family's house was possessed by ghosts causing them great fear and discomfort. Who are they gonna call? A real estate agent.

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knock knock whos there a boy a boy who ? oh, sorry he just got hit by a train.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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