Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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- How can you call a person, who hasn't got a left eye, a left hand and a left leg? - All right.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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There once was a man from Nantucket But then he moved to Boston and changes his name to "man from Boston"

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What is the difference between a black guy and a road? One you put tar on and the other one is a road

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Justin Bieber walked into a gay-bar, The whole world applauded.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

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Wanna know a funny word? Pickle-weasel.

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O: How do you kill a black man? A: Shoot him

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What is it called when a Native American Indian man smacks a woman in the face for cheating on him? In police code it's called a "273D Domestic violence - Felony" most likely involving an insecure man with control problems simply adding to the stereotype that Native American's are drunk, abusive and domestically violent people.

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wanna hear a joke? no.

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What did the brick say to the wall? Nothing, as they are both inanimate objects that lack knowledge and the sense to speak.

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3 guys walk into a bar....dont you think one would see it ?

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What do you call a white man flying a plane? A pilot. What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? Also a pilot.

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What does a black man, an Asian Man, and a Jewish Man have in common? They are all men.

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What did the Mexican get for christmas? Nothing, he was caught sneaking over the border in November.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding! Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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Yo mama is so depressing. That is so sad.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. My thumb is red because I accidentally put it in the toaster.

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Jesus was a good guy

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Did you hear about the couple that met in a revolving door? They died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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