Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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Q: How do you make a cat bark? A: Douse it in gasoline and throw it in a fire.........WOOF!!!!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, your entire family has died in a terrible car accident.

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Why does Spongebob go to work? Because he's ready.

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What did Winnie the Pooh say to Eeyore? Nothing, he just suffocated him in a pot of honey.

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These Jokes suck.

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A black guy is lying on the floor dead with a knife next to him, what killed him? Multiple bullets sprayed from an uzi being held by a rival gang member....

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roses are red but violets are definately violet what retard made this rhyme

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What advice did the cat give to the man? Nothing because it's a cat.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Dear God, That wasn't cool. Seriously. From, Japan

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what's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings what's worse than 2 bee stings? the Holocaust. what's worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings

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Boy:well you merry me. Girl:no Boy: why not? Girl:becuase you're rapeing me

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Knock Knock Sorry, I'm in a full body cast and can't answer the door.

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back distinctly better at the Trumpet.

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hi

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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What's black and white and red all over? A car in which some young hoodlum appears to have splashed a fair amount of red paint over the owner's otherwise charming checker pattern.

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My mate mated with my mate's mate. mated of course meaning fucked.

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chirs

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. see how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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Grab your Taco, you've pulled a dyslexic Mexican

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Why did the chicken die? He tried to cross a road by an alleyway, therefore getting hit by a double decker bus and the alleyway has nothing to do with it. Also, the chicken had one leg and was blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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