Did you hear the one about the man who fell asleep on the job? He woke up.

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What do you call a homosexual in the army? A brave and honorable person who should be applauded for their service to this great nation

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yo momma so fat i abuse my wife

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's

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what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Nazis did't burn the pizza

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In Soviet Russia, it is the largest country in the world. A lot of the parts are uninhabitable though.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the slaughter-house.

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What did one manicotti say to the other manicotti? I doubt we'll ever know.

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A: Hey ask me if Im a fire truck? B: Are you a Fire Truck? A: No why would you ask that?

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69, Is funny because the numbers are backwards

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lol

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I AM SOFA KING WE TOD HEAD - AV

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Why did the fisherman die on a fishing trip? He had a heart attack.

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Rudolf the rednosed reindeer died today. He was reported flying over Madrid when he was hit by a jumbo jet and a flock of seagulls. People are now saying that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

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what's blue and goes blub blub? a blue blub blub

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When Michael Jackson was making his last son, he named him Blanket... he was cold.

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Why did the guy with alzheimer's say to his wife? He can't remember.

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The awkward moment when these anti jokes are NOT funny. at all.

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What's worse than a Wasp at a picnic? Two wasps at a picnic. What's worse than two wasps at a picnic? A serial rapist. What's worse that a serial rapist? Three wasps at a picnic.

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How do you confuse a gay person? How? 7

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: I have no Idea what you would call cheese which isn't yours. However, it seems quite trivial to take time to discuss a nonsensical topic such as cheese which isn't yours.

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit stumbles into a genie while coming to a clearing. The Genie says, "I will give you both three wishes." The bear thinks quickly and says, "I wish every bear in the forest was female." The Genie then grants the wish. "And...now I wish that each bear in the country was female!" The Genie grants the wish. "AND I WISH THAT EVERY BEAR IN THE WORLD WAS FEMALE!!!" the bear exclaims, now getting overly excited by his wishes. The Genie grants the last wish and then turns to the rabbit. "Your turn." The rabbit wishes for a pair of running shoes and the well being of his family and friends. For his last wish he points at the bear and says, "I wish he was gay."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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