Why do jewish women like to get their sons circumcised? They like anything 25% off.

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Your moms so poor that when she went to buy a bag of chips, she couldn't buy the bag of chips, because she didn't have enough money to buy the bag of chips

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What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Well neither has he.

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Why is Steven so gay? Because hes actually Richard Simmons

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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How do you kill zombie Jesus? You can't.

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Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time is irrelevant in this scenario because if this question is based in the United States it is highly unlikely an elephant will be near a fence you own, let alone sit on it, an activity rarely done by elephants and usually projected by humans onto other animals.

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why are black people so good at basketball? Because all they have to do is shoot, steal, and run.fctswity (sultably

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Why was the alcoholic unable to pass a stool when he sat down on the toilet? Because he did it on the floor.

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what did the soccer player say when he missed a penalty? damnit.

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Roses are black Violets are black Im Helen Keller WWWHHAATTTTT!?!?

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A Brunette a ginger and a blonde were getting their hair done? WHich side of the bus did they sit on? Why did i put a question mark on the first part?

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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OBAMA and the DEMOCRATS

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Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

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Three facts 1. You are reading this. 2. You realized that is a stupid fact. 3. You are leaving because this was a stupid joke.

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Billy Corgan: The world is a vampire! Me: No it's not. The world is a mass of mineral compounds that floats in space approximately 93,020,000 miles from the sun. It is not, in fact, a vampire.

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Do you know what is dead on the carpet ? Your mother

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If you and Chuck Norris have five dollars you both have the same amount of money.

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Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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