Why did the crack head cross the road? To get crack.

Women's rights.

A biology teacher walks into a bar. "Ouch," he says. "I bet I just lost some brain cells. I wonder if any of them were going through mitosis..."

lol a man is drowning

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

Why did the man suddenly burst into flames in room. The room was dark, so he lit a match. It turns out there was hydrogen in the room and when fire touches hydrogen, it sets on fire.

What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

what is the difference between coke and pepsi? -they are competing soft drinks made by different brands

So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

I have a black man in my family tree... He's still hanging there.

press Ctrl and F4 on ur key pad

What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

Sarah Palin

What's the difference between a duck? One of it's feet are both yellow.

Eight hours? Sigh, leave it to me then! We both know you are a sweetheart behind that thick skull of yours, I mean why would you ask if it bothers me then?

Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

What did the boy say to the ghost wearing a banana outfit? Holy crap! A ghost!

once upon a time there was a boy

What's worse than losing the remote Finding it in your ass hole

What will happen if your heart skips 10 beats? Nothing. You're dead.

Sticks and stones can break my bones Well maybe you shouldn't play in the tree anymore

Guy 1: I had a Energy Drink the other day, I crashed. Guy 2: Really? That must of sucked. Guy 1: Yeah, the family in the other car died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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