Did you hear about the guy who got his entire LEFT side ripped off? He's dead.

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Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

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Stephen Hawking raped your mom

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Roses are Red Violets are Black Why is your chest As flat as your back

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There are two types of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't. I happen to be one of those who can.

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What's funny about 9/11? Nothing.

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Whats plastic and little boys turn it on? A game cube, and Michael Jackson. Well maybe not anymore since hes dead...

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase as a chicken its intulect this very low so walking in the middle of the street was it's 1st instest. Ther'for it crossed the road and made it to the other side safe. Now please don't ask me a stupid question like that again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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A boy was crying. He had been abused and beaten by his parents, and thrown in his room. He was devastated, and wanted to kill himself. He tossed and turned in bed, and moaned himself to sleep. When he awoke, he felt a chill up his spine, noticing that all of his blankets had been torn off of his bed, leaving only him and his mattress. He open the window, and jumped out of his three story building. Luckily, his bedroom was on the first floor. He ran away, and found a rich family that loved him so much until a week later, a murderer came and killed everyone, including him.

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What do you call somebody from Manchester? A twat

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What's brown and sticky? Shit

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ghuieruioytidhfdvbshdkhfjh

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

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Why was the boy stuck? He's under a tree.

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amy mcguire is soo amazing! i love her

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Ron Paul for President!

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What did the blind lady say to her cat? Nothing she doesn't have a cat.

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What's the difference between Michael J. Fox and a blender? Michael J. Fox is a successful actor starring in many movies, and a blender is a kitchen appliance.

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The last time I heard that joke, I fell off my pet single celled bacteria.

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do you like walffles?Yes I like walffles!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops