"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You're not that bad...you're still better at giving hand jobs than your dad is."

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Q: how do you stop a blonde woman from drowning? A: unplug the stopper in the bathtub Q: how do you stop a baby from drowning? A: take your foot off its head

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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What kinds of children go to heaven dead ones

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Knock, Knock! Who's There? Your neighbor, I found your lost cat! Oh thanks!

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do want to hear a joke? Women's rights

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Knock Knock Who's there? I said who's there? The man opens the door to find there was no one there and begins to shake in fear as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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A family's house was possessed by ghosts causing them great fear and discomfort. Who are they gonna call? A real estate agent.

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What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea. That would depend on what time you are reading this. As i have no control over this, I am unable to inform you of China's current time. Perhaps you should look into a watch, world clock, or some other device capable of telling the time. That is not the Purpose of this website. However, there are numerous other places for this. God luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can, and only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Why did the elephants get in a taxi? They were going to the airport.

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off and his body was never recovered. Repeat then handled the funeral planning.

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A man walks in a barn. He lifts his bucket of food and starts feeding his horses.

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What happens to the man with cancer He dies Because the pharmaceutical company wanted to profit off a synthetic drug equal to marijuana

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How many chicken feathers are there in a 50 pound bag? 50 pounds worth Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a duck Why did the man cross the road? It was duck season A woman is dying but can't reach her husband. Why? A duck ate his cell-phone A pig walks into a bar but there is no bartender. Where is she? Dead A duck hunter is selling a duck to a man. The man only pays the duck hunter a quarter. Why? It was full of chicken feathers.

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knock knock piss off

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What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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yolo mother f-uckaaaa

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A buissnes man walks into a meeting and says hello i'm a buissnesman

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Hope you all drop the soap in prison

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a blonde, a brunette and a red head are robbing a bank, they hear the police coming, so they try to find a place to hide. The red head hides in cat cage, the brunette hides in dog cage and the blonde hides in potatoe sack. When the police come the brunetter says "Woof, Woof!" the red head says "MEOW! MEOW!" and the blonde says "P-O-T-A-T-O-E!"

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Why did the man bring the computer to the doctor because it had a virus

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Have you heard about the Polish kamikaze pilot? No, you haven't, because it would be historically and culturally incorrect.

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A blonde, a redhead, and Asian are talking. They are friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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