What is worse than reading an anti-joke relatively similar to the other? Walking in your front yard and realizing a zombie is eating your dead grandmother.

What did one Black man say to the other Black man before they ate? I hope you're hungry!

Barack Obama

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will cause me to develop a drinking problem.

Roses are red,violets are blue, im epileptic sdblkselhvefbed

Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber? Lady Gaga has a penis.

What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman is a fictional superhero and a black man is an ordinary man of African descent.

What did the cat say when you rub it's stomach? Nothing because felines don't have the needed vocal organs to speak, and probaly wouldn't know english do to the size of there brain.

How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

Why was the man reading various news articles on the Internet at 2:21 in the morning? Because at that time he could not sleep. Which meant he tried to find something else to fill his time up with.

A black man, a Jew, and a homosexual are at a bar together. They drink for a few hours, during which time they catch up with each other and share stories, as it has been some time since the three of them have seen each other. After they are done drinking, they call a friend, who comes to pick them up and take them home. What a fine example of drinking responsibly.

roses are red violets are blue i have alziemers what are we talking about again

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

Ever see a man say goodbye to a shoe? Yes, once.

What Can't You See and Stinks A Fart.

Why didn't the restaurant serve the black man? He hadn't ordered anything.

Blue fish occasionally consume large amopunts of the insides of oak trees.

Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.

Why do fancy unicorns wear jackets? Because they're fancy.

What did the orphan get on his birthday? Cancer.

Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's being held hostage against her will.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...