One day I was hungry. I ate. I wasn't hungry anymore. Penis.

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a pleasant evening as they talk to each other about their day over a relaxing drink.

your mama is so stupid stole a free sample

if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

A man walks into a pet store. He then says "This isn't the bar" and leaves.

Yo mama is an upstanding member of her community.

Does this napkin smell like chlorofoam?

Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

Your mom's so old she sometimes uses outdated racial slurs loudly in public. It can get pretty embarrassing.

why did the pinapple walk the plank? to eat a cat because cheese say people!

I was looking out the window on a Sunday morning. The coffee was fresh, and the air was moist. I had recieved a phone call last night on the contents of a briefcase that was to be left on my front door today. The explination was vague, and I was told to enjoy my last day. Then I died.

A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink from the bartender. The bartender gets it for him and says "Here you go." The man then says "Thank you." The man then starts to drink his drink, and appreciates the fine quality of the drink. Afterwards, he finishes the drink, and decides to leave the bar and go home.

have you seen Britney Spears lately? no. i wouldn't expect you to since she is a pop sensation and you are just a regular person trying to find your way in this world

What did Hellen Keller call her dog? Kamikaze-go, because he was an Akita from Japan and that was his name.

Why did the train crash? Because the conductor was a cucumber.

Why did the British person go to the dentist? He had a poor diet which led to him getting cavities

NAACP

What do you get if you cross a man and a horse? Severe internal bleeding.

what did the american say to the other american? get out of the way i gotta go to mcdonalds!

A man runs into a house and unloads a round of bullets killing 2 people in the kitchen. He wins Search and Destroy for his team at Nuketown.

What's black and white and black and white and black and white? A chessboard.

What happened when the boys visited Penn State? They got toured around campus and decided that it would be their future college.

what do you call a gay guy Ej

Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and there wasn't a sufficient wheelchair ramp at his access.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...