How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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A man was caught by the Aztecs for stealing from their tombs. The Aztecan chief said,"Sometime during the next week I will kill you, but I will do it when you least expect." The man was then given a room. He deduced that he couldn't be killed on the last day, Saturday, or else he would see it coming, so it must be before Saturday. He then deduced that it couldn't be on Friday, because he would expect it to be before Saturday. He used this logic to rule out every other day of the week, therefore the Aztecan chief would never kill him. He was killed on Wednesday.

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women rights

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

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Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Who is the fiercist Raptor of them all? Matt Daly

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rarw

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below! no

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a load of bread.

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Two Guys walk into a bar; the second one should have seen it coming.

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what did the crippled boy say to the truck driver? "i like cats."

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Why did the guy fly? Because he steped on a landmine

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What's the difference between red paint and blue paint? One looks like blood and is used a lot in restaurants. The other is blue.

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Why did the chicken run across the road? It was 9/11

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Your mother is so fat that she is highly likely to get heart disease and/or diabetes.

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What did the Rabbi say to the priest? The holocaust was real and it tore apart my family.

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A blond walks into McDonalds. She orders and leaves.

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whats your name? bumder:)

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Yo mamas so fat that she decided to get a gastric bypass to help lose the weight.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender served him a beer and said "why the long face?", to which the horse replied "neigh". The bartender was later fired for incompetence and serving beer to a horse.

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What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

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How do you drown a blonde? Tie a cinderblock to her foot and throw her in water.

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy A: Blue fuzz

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How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops