What did Don King do with his new boxers? Put them on with a respectable pair of trousers.

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What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your penis tastes like shit.

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So a seal walks into a club..

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Whats an Anti-Joke? Funny

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Wanna hear a joke? A Republican political activist.

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Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

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Knock Knock Who's There? Robin Robin Who? Robin Williams Whoa, too early bro

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A Man buys a Prius. Hated it.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Why did your mom cross the road? She Tripped and started rolling

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them

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When we was Antarctica and it was cold we would huddles arounds a candles. What did we do when it was colder? We lit the candle,

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Hello

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I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

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Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

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I think people who go to see a psychiatrist need their head examining.

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whats it called when a pimp slaps a ho? RESPECT

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What do you get when you mix Catholicism and Islam? War

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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