Why did 0 dislike 1? Because 1 made 0 feel like he was nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There once was a man from Peru, who dreamed he swallowed his shoe. But it turns out his dream was real, and he died because he could not digest a whole shoe.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Man: I'm just popping out to get cigarettes (He never returns.)

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Train A leaves the station at 1:42 while traveling in 176kmh. How long will it take for the conductor to realize the bridge it ou... Too long.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the janitor have for breakfast? Food

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is the best thing about dating a slut? You can return her at Build-a-Hoe Workshop.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

An Irishman, a homosexual and a Jew walk into a bar. Paddy's really exploring his options lately.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

knock, knock come in

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Chuck Norris is an average human being!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If Africa had more mosquito nets, millions, MILLIONS of mosquitoes would die for hunger.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A panda bear walks into a bar. The bartender then alerts the zoo of the whereabouts of their missing panda.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road To get to your house Knock knock: whos there? The chicken duh

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Nicole: Shove it where the sun don't shine! Katlyn: I'm richer than you! Nicole: Shut your frickin' mouth! Katlyn: You'll be bankrupt! (This conversation was recorded while Nicole and Katlyn were playing Monopoly. They both died in a car accident later that day...)

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is more funny than an anti joke? A real joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t get to cross the road. Halfway through the crossing, it was hit by a car and turned into roadkill. Then a family of black people picked it up and turned it into fried chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what do you call a man with three eyes and eleven fingers? his name

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Lil wayne decide to be a rapper? Because he would earn a very large amount of money and fame.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops