How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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What did the mute girl say to the other mute girl?

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I think I lost my number so can I... No you can't because phone numbers can't be lost

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Why didn't the blind girl say hi to anyone? Because she was blind.

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Roses are red violets are blue your dads got hair what happened to you

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse

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Guy 1: I had a Energy Drink the other day, I crashed. Guy 2: Really? That must of sucked. Guy 1: Yeah, the family in the other car died.

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What is black at the bottom, and white at the top? Society.

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Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? People cross roads all the time, each for their own personal reasons. Questioning their motives is generally accepted as being unnecessary, as it is a relatively safe action as log as one is careful and heeds the laws of traffic.

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knock knock!! kanye west

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzie.

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You're smart... And I can tell a joke.

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Why was the man alone? Because he was tied to a tree.

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A cripple

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Knock Knock Whose there? Boo I don't know anyone by the name of Boo. Go away

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Man 1: HEY DUDE! Man 2: Go shoot yourself

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what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

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Why did the man not go to church? He was an atheist.

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Man #1: What was the hardest part about watching that kid get hit by that bus? Man #2: My dick...

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he didn't have any arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Jimmy was a Potato.

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Chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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