Knock Knock I don't have a door. I'm Homeless

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There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

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Question: What did Mr. Reeves say. Answer: Nothing

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a potato flew around my room

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I suck at Poetry, show me your Tits.

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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what happened to the boy that walked down the street he got hit by a falling street light

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Why did the man order fried chcken? I have twelve dead babies in my trunk.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Why did I write this anti-joke? Because I am generally not that funny.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf a bread

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I pooped my pants

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what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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Q: Why did the little girl scream? A: She didn't have a rape whistle.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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25

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What do an elephant and grapes have in common? They both have a trunk...except for the grapes

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? Wow, I need to lighten up on the acid.

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Teacher: Billy what do you want to be when you grow up? Billy: A fireman! Teacher: Tommy what do you want to be when you grow up? Tommy: 9/11

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What kinds of children go to heaven dead ones

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Did you hear about the cow that could fly? Me either

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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