Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because it's a free country chickens are free to do as they please

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Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

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Why did the man not want to be a tree? Because he didn't want to.

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Why did a Monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Alcatraz is reopened only for Kevin's ma

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What is different between a pile of dead infants and a red ferrari? Being the victim of a mass murder.

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What did one child say to the other child? We both are kids.

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trumpy trumpy trump

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K.

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What did the man without a tongue say...

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Why does the Muslim go to Hollywood? Because he is gifted in acting. He believes Hollywood will give him a wider range of career opportunities.

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Where did the moon get its degree? Unfortunately, they haven't installed any colleges for planetary satellites yet.

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Roses are red That much is true But violets are purple Not freaking blue

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Two men walk in to a bar, one buys a beer. The second receives a phone call and leaves.

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whats it called when a pimp slaps a ho? RESPECT

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Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says to the other: "Maybe we should rethink our ways of life and realize why animals are on this planet"

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

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A drunk is pissing on the plaza and the cop stands next to him and says, very nice. The drunk says, that's what she said. : )

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irish wristwatch JLR

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2 people with ADD are playing baseball. One of them pitches to the other guy and the other guy swings his arms around, misses, then gets hit by a baseball bat. The batter then realized he was the pitcher and the other guy has gone off chasing after a bird that just flew by.

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whats worse than getting the girl you're talking to taken from you? getting the girl you like taken from you.. by a asian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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