Customer: Can I have a tin of red paint, please? Shop owner: I'm sorry sir, we only have yellow paint left. Customer: That's ok, I have my bike with me.

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...............................................................hi

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A man walks into a bar Ouch!

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A whale's vagina

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says why the long face? The horse does not reply because it is a horse. He then is confused of where he is and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a couple stools.

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Why did the cat throw up on the couch? because it was nauseous!

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What are little Timmy's hopes and dreams? Destroyed.

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What do you call a hobo that lives a in a box. A hobo

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What do you call Eric Torres A furnace magnet

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what do u call a long dik gay guy Gay Dickerson

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What did the cat say to the elephant? Meow.

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what did the short man say to the shoe? i sincerely hope that someone wouldn't try to carry a conversation with an inannnimate object, or else he is socially disturbed

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 witnessed while hiding in a closit 7 rape and kill his mother.

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they are highly trained astronauts taking part in a multi-year space journey to explore part of the solar system that man has never dreamed to be feasible.

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What happened when 7 8 9? Six was afraid! HAHAHaha....ha.... wait, no. I told that wrong....

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What has 4 eyes and can't see. Blind siamese twins!

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What's the difference between Rebecca black and your mom? Capitalize Black.

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What do you call a comedian who can;t make people laugh? A bad comedian.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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Roses are red Bacon is too Rhyming is hard bacon

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Roses are red, white, pink, and many other colors. Violets similarly display many color variations due to generations of ardent florists.

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Why wasn't the clown funny? He didn't have a face

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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