Why was the man late for work? Because he slept in.

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Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains." "Well that sounds like a mental illness and I deal predominantly with physical ailments"

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What do you call a guy with four heart chambers, two pairs of extremities, and an aortic arch? Anatomically normal.

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Q: What is the meaning of life? A: We don't know. Dwight: FALSE. The answer to everything is 42.

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Type 2 diabetics

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What do you call 6 dead people on your front lawn? A mass murder

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i was going to say a gay joke butt f*** it.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Hi.

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How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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whats worse than 9/11? 9/12

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family.

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Two mice fell into a bucket of cream. They both promptly drowned.

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why did the chicken cross the road? i don;t know, that's why i was asking you

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whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

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Your mother is so old that she is dead.

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Wat is brown and sticky? A stick

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how do you make old people hate eachother? put them in a night time psychology class

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what the difference between a kettle with a fever and a wooden mallet? I don't remember how the joke ends but your mothers a whore

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whats Mario's favorite kind of jeans? Denim, denim, denim.

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-What do you call it when a female and male are together? - A very serious relationship.

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Why do jewish women like to get their sons circumcised? They like anything 25% off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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