- Anti Joke

What did the retarded asian dolphin eat for breakfast? A big bowl of shit

How did the blind man know when to open his parachute when he went skydiving? The leash went slack.

IU football

why dont we just take bikini bottom and push it somewhere else

Why did the black man jump off a cliff? He's been emotionally unstable ever since he witnessed the brutal murder of his parents as a child and could no longer live with himself, so he decided to commit suicide.

What's brown and sticky? Caramel.

What did the lady find out when she went to the doctor. She had breast cancer.

Yo mamas so tan she might get skin cancer

why cant monkeys swim? cause they dont have staberlizers.

what do u call blue fluff? blue fluff

2 women were sitting quietly

I had my period 3 days ago.

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

I walked a few Km from home.. Something stops me in my tracks, there lies A LIE!

what did bob say tothe ugly duckling? your ugly and a duckling

Why did the pervert cross the road? His dick was stuck in the chicken

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

Why do everytime I go to toilet for number 2. I look into the toilet to see if this one's nicer than the last one.

What doesnt have arms and legs? A brick.

Q:what has two legs and bleeds A: a dog cut in half

What did the cat say when you rub it's stomach? Nothing because felines don't have the needed vocal organs to speak, and probaly wouldn't know english do to the size of there brain.

What did the man do when he was tired Nothing he went to bed

Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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