It was nice knowing you Erron, it really was.

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What did the blonde get for Christmas? A Brain

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Why can't Tommy ride a bike? Because Tommy is a goldfish.

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How can you tell if your goldfish is male or female? Put some fishfood in the bowl, if he swims to the food it's a male, if she swims to the food it's a female.

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Why couldnt the kid see the pirate movie? Because he didn't have eyes.

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What is another way to call a procrastinator? Avery annoyed and bored child who does not want to do her homework and is looking up many different anti-jokes for a laugh. You know who you are...

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if you give somebody a dollar and they give you a different dollar you both have a dollar

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Your momma's so fat she has diabetes.

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Women Sports.

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John is typing... *2 seconds later" John: Hi

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

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press a,s,d,f,g,h,j,k,l feel like a pianist

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yo mommas so ugly that everyone died.

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Why did carly drop her groceries Carly is a cow

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What's a pirate's favorite school subject? Pirate math.

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did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

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a man gets raped. -teagan doherty-

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John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

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Why can't Sally ride a bike? Because Sally's a fish.

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When crossing the river, why the old lady die? She was hit by a falling brick that fell from an airplane.

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you just contradicted yourself.

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Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops