What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Give her a time-out. Throwing sharp objects is not okay.

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what's the fastest way to have someone murder you tell your wife you are cheating on her

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I love watching pom Get your minds out of the gutter

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why did Mary fall off the swing? cuz she had no arms ------------------- knock,knock who's there? not Mary

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench A: The NBA

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What do two siblings have in common? They both want the other to get hit by a bus.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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Why was the boy crying last night? - a clown raped him

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Why are Ethiopians so fast? Because antelope are also very fast.

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whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts. whats worse than 2 holocausts? i rotten banana. whats worse than a rotten banana? 2 rotten bananas.

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What do you call a bear with no fur? A taco.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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its was amazinglysmooth fuck off

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Just finished taking a huge $hit, wiped my ass, then realized I wasn't done.

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Why does Michael j. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses the finest ingredients

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XD I must like, really be into you, God I cannot breathe XD, that is like the most disgusting thing I have heard in my life, but coming from you that just comes out so quaint! XD

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?. I dont know either it was dark.

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Q: You know what you should add to your recipe? A: No, not really. Tell me. Q: What? Are you expecting an answer now? Why don't you just shoot me, huh?! Pee on my clothes and set them on fire! You racist son of an **orange**.... It certainly tastes better with oranges.

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A priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk into a bar. That was just the first person.

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How did the mecanic die? He drowned

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

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How do you call a dog with no legs? You can't call it, you have to go and pick it up.

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Why did the beaver cross the road? To meet Justin Bieber!

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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