Why couldn't Austin eat his noodles? He was a horse, and horses don't have hands, silly goose!

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.

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What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

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Your mother is so fat that she is highly likely to get heart disease and/or diabetes.

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An under aged man walks into a bar. the bar tender forgets to ask for his ID and gives him a beer. That man was later fired.

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Yo mama is an upstanding member of her community.

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Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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Q: Ask me how far have you gone with a girl? A: Mexico

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Doctor: "I'm sorry, but your son has Hepatitis B. Asian Parent: "Why he has Hepatitis B? Why he not get the Hepatitis A plus?"

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We are lawyers

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What did one computer say to the other? 100111010100100111001010010001110101110010100010101011010011010010111000010101100100100100001101010000011111010010011010100110101001010100101010101010100101011010010010101010110010110010100100010101010101010

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Q. How do you make an oil lamp turn off? A. Break it.

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sit on your hand until it goes numb and then touch yourself.

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A three and a half foot tall clown walks into a bar, it is quickly learned that he is only 8 years old and is excorted out by security.

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donald................duck for president

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Knock Knock Who's there? the mailman.

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Why did was micheal jackson named micheal jackson? because his was

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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What's worse than shoveling dead babies??? Using a pitchfork...

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter ponder with cheese.

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Men's Sports

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What do you call a kid with cancer? screwed

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What has four legs and starts with the letter D? A cow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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