Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin says, "Boy it's hot in here." The second says, "It sure is." Both muffins then faint from heat exhaustion and are eaten to death when taken out of the oven And thus tragically, the world would never know of the spectacular talking muffins.

When's the best time to go to the dentist? There is no best time, it is based on personal opinion and depending whether or not you have a conflicting schedule

What is white and stands in the corner? A refridgerator who has been very bad...

Ring Around The rosy, Pockets full of posey, Just kidding they are roofies and i'm going to rape you

matty russel are you on here

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he can't come anyway.

What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

A: Who are you? B: A random guy who walked into your house A: Oh sorry, I keep forgetting your name.

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

There are 100 men enjoying a cruise to celebrate an important contract going through at their place of employment. The boat then suffers a major malfunction and tragically sinks to the bottom of the ocean, miles from any land masses. Not a single man died, how is this possible? They all used the lifeboats supplied on the boat and followed the standard procedure to deal with such a crisis.

a black man kills a family member of a mexican guy. the mexican guy goes to the police, what happens? The mexican guy gets deported back to his country after they realize that he was illegal

Two fish were in a tank one said...."ill drive!"

A dog is walking down the street. The dog catcher promptly arrives and takes him to the pound. Two months later the dog is in a new, happy home with a wonderful family.

do you want to hear a joke?

whats purple and savage? Barney!

Yo mama is an upstanding member of her community.

Libyans stage a protest. They get massacred.

Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was a creepy movie, and it gave Six nightmares.

Get in the car.

knock knock. who's there myhairs myhairs who myhairs fallen out

Homosexuals are gay.

One day I was hungry. I ate. I wasn't hungry anymore. Penis.

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a pleasant evening as they talk to each other about their day over a relaxing drink.

your mama is so stupid stole a free sample

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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