Q: What's long and gray and kills people? A: A gas pipe.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't get back up? She had no legs.

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shauns beautiful

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Its a bird...its a plane....it IS a plane

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what's the difference between a dog and a sheep? one's a dog and the other isn't.

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Last night I had a Chinese By that I mean I abducted some Chinese people and ate them

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How do you know your cat is gay? Other cats have buttsex with him

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife just died from pancreatic cancer."

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How do you save a black guy from drowning? You don't.

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Your Mama is so fat, when she jumped on the couch, she broke the couch.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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What's worse than discovering that you have contracted HIV? Stumbling upon a mass genocide. HIV's pretty bad though.

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Q: What did zero say to the eight? A: Nice belt

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What do you get wen u cross a cat and a walrus? Two animals with very different life styles.

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How many blonde's does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to hold the ladder and one to peel the carrotts

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im a straight dude and all the gay dudes at school make fun of me oh wait i wrote that backwards

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what is worse than finding a worm in your apple being tricked by your best friend to mule drugs over the boarder and then imprisoned in a Vietnamese jail, where you will most likely will be traded for sex and other horrid act of sodomy, only to escape and work as a sex slave to earn your way home, because that is the life you know now there is no way out you will die here.

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Your mother is a stupid bitch. For real.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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why was it funny that the boy got a razor for christmas because he had leukemia

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What do you call a guy wearing a white leisure suit? Mister Rourk? No, you call the dud wearing the white duds.

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whats brown and sticky? shit

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I saw a shovel once.

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Do you really want to know what i shit? Poo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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