When I'm sad I cut myself... another slice of cheesecake.

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey lolololol Im a dog

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Lethal injection is a lot more humane than the electric chair. I know because nobody's complained about it yet.

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Why couldn't little Johnny play sports like the rest of the kids? He was diagnosed with polio at the age of 3 and has limited use of his legs.

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i don't get it...none of these are funny.

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Why did the blonde kill herself? She was diagnosed with major depression and was dealing with a lot of traumatic events in her life.

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A boy bought a dozen roses, eleven real, one fake. He looks deeply into his girlfriends eyes, hers looking back, brimming with love and affection as he says, "I slept with your sister."

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There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

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How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You were adopted and I couldn't think of a good way to tell you...

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Q:Whats the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family.

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Knock knock. Is someone there?

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Loading....please wait.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side (The original AntiJoke)

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

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This one time at band camp....

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the baby die? Abortion

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pilot.

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twilight

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Why did someone see a penguin walking in the desert? They were dreaming, because Penguins waddle and live in the Arctic.

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Your mama so fat she is physically larger than other people.

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Why did the jewish man pick up a nickel on the street? Because he understands the value of saving money.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops